Important Concepts for Creating the Good Life

Good Life Concepts

Here we have listed some of the concepts we have found helpful for creating the good life. We explore these concepts in more depth in our essays and list additional information on the Tools page and in our newsletters.

According to Paul Ray, one of the authors of Cultural Creatives, we need approximately 10 to 15 years to translate a shift in values into a shift in lifestyle. During that time we are exploring, contemplating, observing, and experimenting with what those new values mean for us. Our experience has been that this process can be accelerated by consciously choosing to explore and experiment. In businesses and organizations, leadership can serve as the catalyst for incorporating the good life. With each concept we offer jumping off points for exploring and experimenting that you can begin to apply personally, and as a leader at work and in the community.

Embracing Enough

One reason enough is so critical to the good life in the U.S. today is because many people report they feel overwhelmed by stuff and the pace of life. According the Ecological Footprint, which measures the resource use of people around the world, Americans are the biggest users of resources in the world (along with Luxemburg and the United Arab Emirates). This is in contrast to Costa Ricans who consume just 25 percent of what we consume and are reported to be the happiest people on earth. People from the happiest industrialized country, the Netherlands, use approximately 50 percent of what Americans do, as do Germany, Singapore, Italy, France, and Japan. (See the Happy Planet Index for a full report on the relation between happiness and resource use.)

The point is that many of us spend much of our time and energy accumulating and managing what is by most standards too much, and the result is a sense of overwhelm and stress. When we find ways to let go of the excess and embrace enough, we find there is more time, energy, and resources to focus on those things we find more fulfilling.

Explore
You can calculate your personal Ecological Footprint and find out how you compare to the average American as well as to others in the world. We think a reasonable goal is to work towards using 50 percent of the average American. You can vary your responses in the Ecological Footprint quiz to see what changes you could make to reduce your footprint. The Ecological Footprint can be applied to businesses, organizations, as well as cities and counties. See Resources for more information.

Experiment
Get rid of stuff that you don't love or use regularly. Clean out a particularly jammed closet, drawer, or (extra credit) room. Once you have done this, notice how your body feels when you experience this space.

Next try this with your appointment calendar, eliminating one event you don't have to do and don't love. Don't fill the time with anything else.

For business and organizations there are systems and support for waste reduction that can result in great savings. California's Integrated Waste Management Board is one good example. For more whole systems approaches consider working with sustainable business consultants.

Know Thy Self

We think some degree of self awareness is critical to consciously bringing about any type of positive change in your life. The better you understand who you are and why you are where you are, the better able you are to explore and experiment with changes. Similarly, having a process for self reflection is critical to setting meaningful goals and course correcting along the way. In fact, our lack of time and ability to reflect are often the main obstacles to living well. We intuitively have the answers we are seeking; we just need time and a process for considering them.

We can benefit from studying systems that reflect patterns of personality because they allow us to see our own patterns of thinking and behavior. Secondarily they help us to develop a better awareness and appreciation for how other people think and act. This life-long learning process is one of the best and most rewarding investments to make in ourselves.

Explore
Make a list of any systems and processes that you have used for learning about yourself. Examples include: talking with friends and family, journaling, talk therapy, reading, watching movies, AA, Myers-Briggs, astrology, specific programs for self help, meditation, etc. Which have been most useful and which have been the least useful? Can you see patterns in those that work well for you?

Experiment
Take some time and energy to investigate another system of knowing yourself. For a fun and quick way to see a lot of other systems, check out Who Are You? 101 Ways of Seeing Yourself by Malcolm Goodwin. Some of the systems we find useful and use often include Enneagram, Co-Counseling and Spiral Dynamics.

For business, organizations, and families, we have found Systemic Constellation to be amazingly insightful and useful. Systemic constellation is much less known in the U.S. than in Europe and other parts of the world, but there are a growing number of practitioners in this country.

Happiness is...a warm puppy (really!)

From the ancient Greeks to Peanuts, humans have contemplated what makes us happy. The most recent flourishing of research on this question has been in the field of positive psychology, sometimes known as happiness studies.

At the core, what gives us a sense of well being has not changed a lot throughout history, and it does not even vary a lot across cultures. We have included these common elements in our definitions of living well and doing good; most notably connection, meaning, equity, and betterment. Current research indicates that we can impact our sense of well-being approximately 40% by the choices we make and the attitudes we hold, while 50% is a function of genes and 10-15% is from life circumstances such as socioeconomic status, marital status, health, etc.

We think it is especially important that we make an effort to understand what truly makes us happy because there is a huge portion of our culture that devotes a lot of very sophisticated resources (i.e. advertising) towards making us feel unhappy so we will buy their products and services. Moreover, we need to think about what we offer as goods and services so that they create the good life for all concerned.

Explore
There are many interesting books to read in this area. A good place to start is with Sonja Lyubomirsky's The How of Happiness.

Experiment
There is a very simple exercise that will likely assist you in feeling better and learning more about what makes you happy. At the end of each day write down your favorite part of the day, and then 5 to 10 things for which you are grateful.

Before you start, you may want to make a note of how happy you are in general with your life, with 1 representing not happy at all and 10 being very happy. (See the Good Life Assessment Flower in the Oct. 2009 newsletter for a more elaborate version of this link.) After two weeks, reevaluate your rating to see if your perception of your well being has changed.

A relatively simple way to bring this into the workplace is to begin to create happiness metrics for different activities, for example meetings. What are some of the metrics that could be used to indicate well being at the end of the meeting, the end of the day or the week? Bringing awareness to the things that are important is the first step in improving them, followed by finding ways to measure what matters.

It's About Time

If you have enough time to do the things that are important to you, you are in a fortunate minority in the United States. Generally Americans report feeling stressed because they do not have enough time. This is not surprising given that we work more hours and take fewer and shorter vacations than people in most other advanced economies. Moreover, many of our time saving technologies have resulted in a sense of needing to accomplish more rather than creating a greater sense of leisure. Instead of opting for more free time and less consumption, Americans have opted to work longer hours and consume more compared to their counterparts in many parts of the world.

It turns out that time is one of the essential ingredients for developing and living the good life. In fact, much of our experience of the good life is rooted in how much control we have over how we spend our time. There is evidence to suggest that if you feel life is moving either too slowly or too quickly you will not feel content and that the right pace varies from one person to another. Whatever the ideal pace is for you, your ability to modulate that pace and direct time to the things that matter to you is the key to unlocking the good life. (Read more about time in the Dec. 2009 newsletter.)

Explore
A good place to start understanding your relationship to time is to take The Time Paradox online time profile survey. There you will see what your attitudes are toward the past, the present, and the future compared to others based on 30 years of research. The authors propose an ideal time profile that balances positive views of the past with an ability to enjoy the present and invest in the future.

Experiment
For a more in-depth look at how you spend your time, read the classic Your Money or Your Life, which takes you through a series of exercises to help you align how you spend your time, your money, and your life's energy. This has been a life changing book for many people, and the framework the authors outline can be useful for making decisions over a lifetime.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes!

When was the last time you consciously made a change in your life? What prompted the change: a crisis or a desire? Were you successful from the beginning, or did it take you several attempts and course corrections along the way? How long did it take? Were there any unintended consequences?

Understanding our own processes for making changes is very valuable for making our lives better. Voluntary change generally involves special effort and an ability to deal with challenges and obstacles. Having a vision, goals, a plan, and support can help you to be successful. Inevitably some of the obstacles will have to do with ourselves, our attitudes, habits, addictions, and shadow side. And change is almost always accompanied by a series of positive and negative emotions as we let go of something we know and head towards the new.

Despite all these difficulties, learning how to make voluntary changes in our lives can be extremely rewarding. Change is a constant in life and more importantly, we inevitably need to make adjustments over the course of our lives in pursuit of the good life. As with many skills, practice makes perfect. Therefore the more opportunities we embrace for developing our flexibility, creativity and determination, the better we will be able to handle change whether it is the inevitable or voluntary variety. (Read more about change in the Jan. 2010 newsletter.)

Explore
Answer the questions at the beginning of this section either in writing or in talking with a friend or colleague.

Experiment
Pick one SMALL thing to change that you think would make your life better. Now make a plan that meets the following criteria:

Appeals emotionally.
Builds on your strengths and the resources you have already.
Includes support for areas where you need it.
Has a definite time frame and a means of measuring progress and/or success.
Involves rewards for success, and possibly mild negative consequences for failure.
Is really, really, simple.

When you try out your plan, evaluate which of the factors were most important in terms of your plan working or not working. See The Whole (Systems) Enchilada below for more ideas on how to evaluate a plan.

The Whole (Systems) Enchilada

Imagine a game whereby every person standing in a room each mentally selects two other people. Each person then tries to maintain an equal distance from both of the people they have secretly identified. What soon happens is that everyone begins moving around as they are triggered by movements of others. The action ebbs and flows as people find a momentary balance before someone's movement starts another round of movement. This is a good way to physically experience being part of a system: to feel the interconnections, balance points as well as the destabilizing energy.

We are all part of many different systems. Changes in one place in the system impacts us, and our actions, in turn, impact others in the system. And yet, how often do we think in terms of these systems when we are addressing a problem, making a decision, or creating a plan? A holistic approach takes into account as many relevant factors as possible and generally results in solutions, decisions, and plans that are richer and more successful.

This holistic perspective is at the heart of the good life. Every aspect of our lives is connected to every other aspect (as well as to the lives of others) such that when we change one part, there are ripples throughout the system. Money, time, relationships, health, work, home, etc. are all connected and significant elements of our life system. The goal is to positively affect one of these areas such that we feel improvements in others. For example, we find ways to spend less time working, so we have more time to be active with our friends and family, which improves our psychological and physical health such that we have even more energy overall, and on and on in the endless swirl that is our life.

Explore
Think of a change or decision you are considering. If you can't think of one, try "working one day less a week" in completing this exercise. List the different areas of your life (use the list below as a start) and write down how each part would be affected by the change or decision and whether it would make your life feel better or not.

Time
Money/finances
Family/relationships
Health/fitness/diet
Spirituality
Work/career
Home/lifestyle
Personal growth/self awareness
Learning/education
Leisure/play
Interests/hobbies
Self expression
Aesthetics/ beauty
Other?

Experiment
In your home or workplace physically change one thing that you think will make an improvement. (Move or add a chair, lamp, recycle bin, key holder, plant, rearrange a drawer, etc.) Don't make it something you have to discuss with others or that requires a lot of effort; however, try to make it significant enough to warrant the time and effort. Notice what impacts it has on the systems that connect with it. How does this change over time? Were there other changes or unintended consequences that occurred as a result?

Understanding a systems approach generally requires an investment of time, but the benefits can be significant. We have listed some system approaches we find useful on the Tools page including Permaculture for design, Systemic Constellation for human systems, and Ken Wilber's Integral approach to life.

List of Essays

(Some of the following essays were written for Living Spaces, our green home design firm in Portland, OR. Also see our archive of our newsletters for useful essays on the good life.)

Embracing Your Inner Slow Life Designer takes a look at slow design and how we are the designers of our own lives. December, 2009

Elegant Sufficiency: Finding Enough in a World of Too Much explores the relationship between house size and having enough. It includes suggestions for right sized rooms and homes. July, 2008

Why Remodeling May Not Make You As Happy As You Think looks at some psychological dimensions of our impulse to remodel and offers strategies for better decision making. May, 2008

When A Green Remodel May Not Be So Green addresses the desire for having more space in our homes and suggests low impact ways to find and create that space. April, 2008

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